Don't Lose the Hunger - Lent Journal (17/40)

I remember when I was coming into the Church, that hunger to receive the Eucharist. Going to Mass each Sunday (and multiple times during the week), kneeling in the front pew and watching others receive. I vividly remember praying for each of them as they received, that they would know what it was they were doing.

I remember going up to receive a blessing initially, but after awhile just remaining kneeling because it hurt too bad to be that close to my Lord and my Lover without being able to offer Him my body as I received His.

I remember counting the days until receiving Communion:

Three years ago to the day, of course

I remember underlining every line of scripture I could find that would help make that hunger grow:

I remember the sweetness of Adoration, which I must confess I haven't been as consistent about visiting in recent months:

And, of course, I remember the goodness and the tenderness of receiving Him for the first time. And the next. And the time after that. His generosity to me when I am dispense the Chalice, getting to drink down to the dregs. The awe of getting to hand Him to people, watching Him work as He touches the hearts of the faithful and transforms us from within.

If you are feeling pained about Masses being suspended ... I don't know. Part of me wants to just say "good", and leave it at that - because it is a good hunger, and one that should ever be extinguished.

Longing for what is missing leads to appreciation when it is again present.

Friends - If you have been sustained through trials by the graces given in the Eucharist - somehow God will get you through this. I promise you, if He is withdrawing this gift from you it is to give you some deeper love, some greater intimacy with Him. He is helping you walk more closely with those catechumenates and confirmandi who are preparing for their first taste this Easter. He is letting you foster some other devotion or re-evaluate the priorities of your life. He is humbling you to see the extent to which you are dependent on Him. I don't know what He is doing. I just know that we must wait for the Lord, take courage; be stouthearted, wait for the Lord!