In Time of Desolation - Lent Journal (18/40)

Alright y'all. It's day four (of many) of social distancing. For some that means we've been physically isolated for four days, or our kids have been off of school for a week and unable to see their friends, or we've been working from home in a different environment from what we are used to.

And now we don't have Mass or convenient access to the Sacraments.

I don't know about you but I'm starting to get the itch.

You know the one: the one that brings you to the fridge for the third time this afternoon. Or checking Facebook for the 10th time. Or getting upset with your spouse or kids over things that are unimportant. Or being tempted by some unexpected vice you thought you had moved past.

It's the feeling of being alone or abandoned, losing motivation for things that will give you life and joy. Especially right now when we just don't have a sense of when this will be over and it can be so easy to sit in the darkness.

There is a word for this in the spiritual life: Desolation.

From Saint Ignatius's rules for discernment of spirits [1]:

The fourth rule: I call desolation all the contrary of [Spiritual Consolation], such as darkness of soul, disturbance in it, movements to things low and earthly, the unquiet of different agitations and temptations, moving to want of confidence, without hope, without love, when one finds oneself all lazy, tepid, sad, and as if separated from his Creator and Lord.

I think it's important to know the signs, to recognize it as such, and to understand what to do when confronted with the arid desert of desolation.

I think the instinct is to shrink down, to try to look for an escape - a safe space to wait it out. That's certainly the case for me: feeling discouraged, I decide not to pray tonight after all; or I settle into comfort food to try and make myself feel better. Or I do worse and give into temptations. Which leads to further discouragement, self-accusation, self-condemnation, fear of God's judgment, anxiety, a desire to hide in shame, and darkness. (I speak from far too much past experience)

Because here's the thing: the pump is primed for the Devil to step in and attack us right now. He knows we are weary, we are in foreign territory, we don't have simple access to the Sacraments - especially Confession - and if we fall, the fall will be that much more painful. He's upping his game, and I think strategically it's the opportune time. Like a roaring lion your adversary the devil prowls around, looking for someone to devour.

So I suppose the question is, knowing this is coming, what do we do?

Again, from St. Ignatius [2]:

 The fifth rule: In time of desolation never to make a change; but to be firm and constant in the resolutions and determination ...

The sixth rule: ... it is very helpful intensely to change ourselves against the same desolation, as by insisting more on prayer, meditation, on much examination ...

The seventh rule: Let him who is in desolation ... resist the different agitations and temptations of the enemy; since he can with the Divine help, which always remains to him, though he does not clearly perceive it ...

The eighth rule: Let him who is in desolation labor to be in patience ... let him think that he will soon be consoled ...

So much more that could be said, but in summary: if the Devil is going to up his game, we will just need to step it up as well. Thankfully we are never alone in this battle. We've seen so many beautiful examples over the past week of members of the Church being saints, of priests truly caring for their flocks and the faithful laity being there for each other. Just speaking for the Atlanta young adult community, we're organizing times to video chat and pray together and keep God in the forefront of our minds throughout the day.

When the Eucharist is unavailable - and it's a huge, painful hole - we will just have to find other sources of the grace we need to be the saints He is calling us to be.  Thankfully our Church has a large tool chest filled with thousands of spiritual devotions. God will see us through.

Linking to the creator of this image

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[1] Discerning Hearts Podcast put out a series that covered each rule in a separate episode. Fr. Timothy Gallagher is brilliant and has such a calming voice. https://www.discerninghearts.com/catholic-podcasts/fr-timothy-gallagher-discernment-of-spirits/

[2] I really want to cite all Ignatius's rules, because they are so full of insight from a lifetime of trial and error. https://www.discerninghearts.com/catholic-podcasts/14-rules-of-st-ignatius-of-loyola/