I wrestled with this for most of a day, before I ultimately decided to visit anyways. I hadn't seen her since high school, and she was one of those who had gotten sick; with five kids in the house, I figured she and her husband could use an extra hand for the afternoon. My plan was to avoid touching or eating anything that she or her kids had touched, wash my hands, and generally be careful. Plus, she was already mostly feeling better and nobody else was showing symptoms yet.
Beth and I had a wonderful visit - we went to Mass together and received the Eucharist side-by-side for the first time, we generally caught up, I had a great time with her kids, helped ease things around the house, and enjoyed dinner with them before leaving. I drove back to Richmond, got to my parents' house around 1am, and went straight to sleep.
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I think you know where this story is going. I started feeling sick that same night, and by morning I wanted nothing to do with food. I sipped Gatorade and broth most of the day, sitting and reading while trying not to move or upset my stomach. I also made sure to wash anything I had ate or drank from, and avoided any contact with my parents - no hugs when saying bye at the airport. My girlfriend picked me up from the airport with a few supplies for the next couple days as I recovered. I declared my house a no-entry zone until I saw my son on Monday, followed by my parents coming down on Tuesday.
When my parents arrived, my dad was complaining about his stomach being queasy, and he was asking about my symptoms from when I had been sick. Oh boy, here we go. The next morning I was sure I heard my dad being sick in the bathroom, and I felt so guilty I had passed it on.
It turns out he was fine and hadn't gotten sick, he had just eaten too many chocolates - but still, I felt awful knowing I could have passed it along to my parents. My girlfriend also pointed out I could have gotten my son sick, besides which my getting sick could have prevented me from being able to share parenting time with my son.
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Society has dealt with terrible diseases in the past, and historically the solution has been some form of quarantine. The Old Testament even makes reference to this, declaring that those infected with leprosy must wear certain clothing and announce to those around - "Unclean, unclean". Those who were infected were essentially cast out from society, losing their names; their property; their dignity.
Thankfully, the Church and Her saints have always been willing to step in and place themselves in harm's way in caring for the sick regardless of conditions. Leper colonies were formed by Catholic monastic communities to serve as a refuge and a place where the dignity of these people could be affirmed. Saint Francis is known for meeting a poor leper on the road at the time of his spiritual conversion; he walked up to the man and embraced him as his brother.
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These situations have been on my mind the past couple weeks, in light of the pandemic and universal calls for social distancing and isolation. Keeping spread of infection low is critical, and it's not just about whether I get sick; it's also about whether I then pass it along to others. Until we have better access to testing, we just don't know who is infected but asymptomatic, and whose cough is "the bad cough". We all have a responsibility for the sake of others to keep healthy.
At the same time ... I think we can focus too much on the need to isolate, and forget that we belong to each other in more ways than simply not spreading disease. We can get so wrapped up in the fear of being outside in a space we can't control that we neglect to care for those who can't care for themselves or otherwise can't isolate themselves. I do hate that I got the stomach flu and risked passing it along, but I was also so glad to show Beth and her family just how much love I have for them by being willing to take that on for them.
We need ministries that continue to reach out to offer assistance and support. We need volunteers to make and deliver meals. We need doctors and nurses. We need farmers, electricians, plumbers, grocers, truckers, manufacturers, cleaners, and even politicians. We need priests and deacons to visit hospitals, administer the sacraments and provide counseling, and continue to find creative ways of serving their flocks. We need those who are willing to sacrifice their own safety. We need the saints of our time - we need you.
None of this takes away from the fact that we need to be wise and support those in the medical field by being cautious. There are many paths to holiness; for most, it will look like remaining at home. For some, though, it will look like walking into danger while taking the necessary precautions. The most vulnerable in our society need both kinds.
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