Today was Transgender Day of Visibility, and I was silent. Also today, the governor of Idaho signed into law two "anti-transgender" bills. Again, I was silent.
You know, I was going to try and take the time and explain both the perspective of those who fight for transgender rights and those who argue for traditional understandings of male and female. On the one hand, how difficult it is for transgender individuals to find a place to fit, and the mental health concerns and matters of life that come along with the ride. On the other, the importance of recognizing our God-given sexual identities and coming to a place of gratitude for how He made us.
But honestly, I don't really want to get into it because I can't stand the anger and inability to listen from either side.
Look - I was part of the transgender community for a couple years. I know how it feels to be affirmed in your identity; to find a safe space where you can explore just who you are; to be able to breathe and just not worry for a moment about judgment. I learned a lot about myself from being part of that community. The motives of those fighting for transgender rights are sincere, and transgender people come from all walks of life. I know Christians who identify as transgender, who are ordained pastors; members of religious orders; who strive to love God and neighbor with all their hearts, minds, and souls. And, yes, I also know trans folks who can't stand religion or God, who have delved into interests that I am not interested in describing here.
At the same time, I've watched the messaging over the past few years turn more militant: people being castigated and called transphobic simply for agreeing with the traditional understanding of male and female as being based in biological sex - even when they also agrees that trans people deserve to have a place in society and to be respected.
In the meantime, the political pendulum has swung the other direction. Conservative Christians have reacted to the underlying philosophical argument through legal means - laws concerning bathrooms; locker rooms; sports; employment; birth certificates; pronouns. I hesitate to call these laws "discriminatory" (other than to point out that the term discriminate means "to recognize a distinction; differentiate"), though I also don't agree with all of them within a liberal secular society that is supposed to enable opposing view points and values to live and work together.
But as I said - I really don't want to get into it, because in the meantime we forget about the actual human people who are, in fact, suffering. As much as I would like to pretend there are simple answers, there aren't. As much as I wish my trans friends would embrace the teachings of the Church in all their healing beauty ... most won't. And it is still our duty to love them, and find a way to uphold their dignity in a culture that seems increasingly opposed to any sort of dialogue.
Last year, a trans woman who suffered from homelessness was rejected from a faith-based women's shelter up in Alaska. We can argue until the cows come home about pronouns, the likelihood of women at that shelter being triggered by someone they perceive as a man staying there, the nature of the ontological difference between men and women. But at the end of the day, this beloved child of God had no warm place to sleep. I am left wondering what, pray tell, does the Church say to Herself in those situations? Well, she would be welcome at the men's shelter? In the name of upholding doctrine and religious liberty (which are important), we neglect the greater matters: care for those who are most vulnerable and marginalized.
Church, I know we want to draw the battle-lines and stand our ground. I worry about what will happen next - the most recent legal battles concern transgender children and adolescents, who deal with so much uncertainty and stress already. I am just as concerned as anyone else about the pivot in the past couple years toward total affirmation of identity and transition without asking the deeper questions. But we have to remember the people, and it can't just be political and legal battles. It's gotta be a matter of the heart as well.
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